A lot of my pieces have been relaxing classical pieces to which one could just kick back and enjoy the gentle colors of the music. Simple, melodic, and often short. This piece, though, is totally different. It definitely has moments of dissonance with it's clashing harmonies and even jarring transitions, but all of it is intentional. It's is a challenging listen in some respects, but if you really give the music your focus and understand the context behind what is going on, the experience should be more rewarding.
This piece embodies the torrent of feelings that accompany losing a loved one. It is something that I've recently experienced, and I want to describe that through music.
:01- During the summer, I watched as my grandma began to die, and that created a number of complicated emotions. I didn't want her to be gone and yet wanted her suffering to end. Everyday that I watched her strength drain away, I wondered when the end would come. All of these complex feelings of confusion and dread swirled around, and it was as if my breath was being held for an entire month in anticipation of what was coming. This section uses dissonance in a rising string section to show the conflict of watching a loved one leave.
1:03- My grandma finally passed away, and all that confusion faded away. All that remained was pure, simple sadness. It was a time to be with family in remembrance of the grandma we all loved. In a way, it was almost a relief not having to wonder when it would happen anymore and to have a chance to just stand back and contemplate. Musically, the dissonance from the past section gives way to something that is harmonically and melodically simple and melancholic.
2:24- In high school, a very close friend of mine died from a head injury that occurred during a football game. It felt like life came to a screeching halt when he passed. The whole community was shocked. Speechless. Eventually though, life began to move forward. People did their best to move on, and happier times eventually came. Life would feel wonderful and full of optimism for a time, but on the occasional day the memories would all come flooding back and I would miss my friend. You can hear that optimism in the rising, major chords of the music that soon fall back into melancholy.
I could go on piece by piece but want listeners to be able to interpret the rest as they wish. The whole point of this piece though is to illustrate the cycle of life and death. People die and heart wrenching emotions overtake us, and then life continues on and we find ways to cope. Soon enough though, it happens all over.
This piece ends similar to how it starts to portray that cyclical nature. It builds one last time and then fades to a single note that dies off, leaving only the wind. That too soon fades. This represents the last moments of our own lives. We fade until only that final breath remains, and then we go.