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Credits & Info
- Sep 12, 2012 | 6:11 PM EDT
- File Info
- 7.1 MB
- 4 min 25 sec
- 4.05 / 5.00
For Voice Acting Contest 9, the theme being horrible jobs. I ended up getting third place! <3
Here's the dialogue:
(Doctor) Yeah good luck with that train wreck y'all got goin' on you two! Sigh. Man, I hope these newcomers got even a third of the problems dat last couple had.
(Doctor) Ah shoot. Y'all really right on time.
(Marty) Well isn't that the point of making an appointment? So you don't miss it?
(Doctor) Why sure. So uh...where's the missy?
(Marty) Ha ha ha ha. She's collecting herself. Say, are you really a doctor?
(Doctor) Yessiree. Name's Dr. Cannatunafish. Studied fer 5 years at the university 'cross the river down Route 12.
(Marty) Ahahh...and what was the name of the university?...
(Doctor) Uhh...the University 'Cross the River Down Route 12.
(Sam) Sorry I'm late. Ran into a couple that was leaving and gave them some pointless advice as I judged their horrible outfits.
(Doctor) Whoa whoa whoa! You two a buncha queers?!
(Sam) Uh...is that a problem because I can invest my money elsewhere.
(Doctor) Uh no no no no no. I love yer hard earned...American money...naw please sitchur self down next to yer...partner here. So tell me y'all where yer issues at?
(Sam) Marty's sucha pussy. He never wants to hang out with me.
(Marty) Wrong. We went to that...thing...whatever event last Friday.
(Sam) And you flaked out at midnight after having one drink and said that you'd see me at home. What the fuck Marty.
(Marty) I had to wake up early!
(Sam) For what, you liar! You don't even have a fucking job!
(Marty) To pick up those preposterous diet pills of yours, since you're too extravagant to show your face at a grocery store!
(Sam) Don't hate me cuz I'm beautiful!
(Doctor) Now, calm down y'all. Uhp...
(Doctor) Sam, how long Marty over there been without a job?
(Sam) Almost a year now, and he hasn't done a damn thing about it.
(Marty) That's not fair! I had a temp job...
(Sam) UGH. Of course you have to bring up that pathetic temp job. All that paid for was my birthday party...which SUCKED.
(Marty) GASP. I got you that stripper you always wanted from that filthy lounge.
(Sam) He was really fugly up close. I thought you woulda caught that. But I guess you never get out of the house enough to know what real people look like.
(Marty) Yes...the only real person I get to see is a fake bitch.
(Sam) GASP. BITCH.
(Doctor) SHUT YERSELVES RIGHT NOW.
(Doctor) I want y'all ta say this with me. I say, Jesus.
(Sam & Marty) ...Jesus.
(Doctor) I say, take me in ya armz.
(Sam) ...are we gonna get killed?
(Doctor) And tell me what I need to say, hallelujah!
(Marty) ...should we go-?
(Doctor) AHP! Sweet Lord! He has told me! He has told me-!
(Ms. Larry) Dawkta Cannatunafish, ya got Kim an' Wesley waitin' outside. Should I tell them to come in?
(Doctor) Yes! Sure! Git on you two! Git! Git!
(Doctor) Ms. Larry?
(Ms. Larry) Yes dawkta. Let me rub ya shoulders.
(Doctor) No that's fine Ms. Larry. Just please...it's time...
(Ms. Larry) Oh I completely understand dawkta. Just like Trisha says, I'm a great listener.
(Doctor) No Ms. Larry...I mean...I can't take it anymore.
(Ms. Larry) Oh dawkta. Don't worry. I got your medicine right under this cabinet here...
(End Narrator) And so, Dr. Cannatunafish went straight to heaven to rejoice in the light of the Lord and His children forever...and ever...Amen.