In January 2011 I started to compose this piece, but IÃ'´ve never managed to finish it. It was the first time for me to make something in this particular style.

The meaning is somewhat complicated. In October 2010 one of my best friends died after a long battle with brain cancer. With this piece I actually asked myself to live on without forgetting about the past. I tried to make something positive instead of something pessimistic, although it contains some dramatic parts. There are different sections, each having a different personal meaning within the general meaning of the whole piece. Also there are some metaphors. For example, the contrabasses symbolize myself and the motif they play in the beginning symbolize my life. The french horn section symbolizes the one that passed away and the timpanis announce his death.

The piece starts really quietly, actually too quietly in my opinion. The contrabass motif shouldÃ'´ve been a little louder there. As I have never finished it (and I never will, because I've lost the file), I'm nowhere near satisfied with it. The ending in particular is terrible. Furthermore the piece lacks coherence. There are some recurring motifs, but the ending is totally different than the beginning, or the middle, because of the different sections. I wanted to continue the piece with recurring motifs from the beginning, but unfortunately this has never happened.

Still I think there some good melodies in the piece and it has a lot of powerful personal energy to me. It also helped me develop more composing skills. If I'd try to compose a new version now, it would be better, but I think I will be focusing on new projects in the future.