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I'm sure most of you have heard of the SOPA bill currently passing through the United States Congress. In brief, the bill would destroy YouTube, Google, Twitter, Facebook and overall the internet as we know it. Decided by a government that has declared pizza a vegetable and supported by a company which has sued for more money than exists in the world, SOPA is absolutely ridiculous in every manner. Taking a break from video game animations and tunes, I've decided to write a song I call "The happy puppy ice cream bill", an extreme in some areas (though not so much in others) song about attempts to pass off SOPA and just what could be done with it. I hope you all enjoy :)
Ladies and gents of the congress, I've gathered you today
To discuss, vote on and adress a bill to save the U.S.A.
It's written well, proofread to hell, and guaranteed to solve
each problem that our nation faces with a fast resolve
I assure it does all it promises to easily
It's the happy puppy ice cream bill, and it gives a raise in salary
So how exactly can one bill fix everything we've done?
It's quite simple, the answer's still: do the bidding of the number ones!
Our nation's built on copyrights, they've been round since the very start
To solve the nation's problems, we must protect its heart
The future of america lies with the industry
And the happy puppy ice cream bill, which gives a raise in salary
What's it really do?
Why should we believe you?
Glad you've asked, I'll explain:
The genius of this glorious bill starts with its brilliant name
The bill, in brief, promises great protection of our land
And grants each U.S. citizen one puppy at their command
Not a single one of them will oppose it, so, you see
it's the happy puppy ice cream bill, and it gives a raise in salary
If we can rush this thing through, and sign it into law
opposers can be dealt with and their protests will withdraw
I do remember spotting on the site of the EFF
A link to spongebob squarepants - WHAT HORRIBLE PROPERTY THEFT!
We'll file a suit, and just to boot, send them to jail for years
They may cry even louder but the world will see no tears!
Piracy will be done with, as well as the whole net
What's that? Freedom of speech? Can't recall that, I forget.
The industry will flourish with high sales of CDs.
SWAT teams are ready to hunt down illegal MP3s.
We'll take the world twenty years back, before the net was born
Where people paid for TV Shows, Movies, Games, Tunes and Porn
With increased sales, we'll all prevail and fix our economy
IT'S THE HAPPY PUPPY ICECREAM BILL AND IT GIVES A RAISE IN SALARY!
...and if the law does not accomplish everything we please
we simply can repeal it and apologize with ease
Then we can plan for later days where we return to see...
new happy puppy icecream bills and a raise in salary!