new, maybe.
My queries as to whether this is really punk or not aside, I think you did a good thing here, with a few critiques.
You melody and progression do what I love in all good songs: they talk to you. You can almost assign and project words and feelings to notes and inflections.
You could have voluminized this piece a bit. It's good as it stands, but without dessert I might still be a little hungry.
I could see this playing in movie about the relatively up-and-coming future steeped with philosophy and parallels of human behavior, relationships, thought and religion. Perhaps a Tron-BSG hybrid.
Anyway. Well, done and I hope to see more stuff from you in the future.