You're getting there...
It has potential. It's not that great IMO, there's plenty of room for improvement, but it's not terrible either. One of the biggest things holding your music down (yes, I've listened to your other hardstyle efforts as well) is the instruments and the samples you use. They're utterly terrible. Replace those, and you'll be a large step ahead of where you are now. Whatever you're using for a lead is dance-ish, but it's too "creepy" sounding, for lack of a better word. It's too distorted and unclear. The kick is by far the biggest problem here. You were using a kick for hardcore or speedcore, while you should've used something more for hardstyle. You can download hardstyle kick samples, but you're better off making your own. I suggest getting a hefty undistorted kick, and getting a bass that fits the kick, then gate the bass and copy the paterns for the kick to the bass. Your kick should sound like when the kick first comes in on this track..
http://www.newgrounds.com/audio/liste n/376078
I also suggest throwing some ambient pads in there.
I disagree with everything the below reviewer said. His points about the song being bad were all characteristics of hardstyle now. He/she clearly doesn't understand the genre. But he also said the kick was good, this is NOT an appropriate kick for this song.
-I know it sounds like I'm shitting on your track, I'm totally not. It's just suggestions for imoprovements. This isn't too bad.
IJamLegend 
