Be a Supporter!

Credits & Info

Uploaded
Sep 10, 2010 | 6:04 PM EDT
File Info
Song
3.8 MB
4 min 7 sec
Score
4.17 / 5.00

Related Content

Licensing Terms

Please contact me if you would like to use this in a project. We can discuss the details.

Score:
Rated 4.17 / 5 stars
Plays & Downloads:
558 Plays | 34 Downloads
Share Links:
Genres:
Hip Hop, Rap, R&B - Hip Hop - Modern
Tags:
None

Author Comments

This is a song I wrote 3 or 4 days ago... This was the first time I had written a complete song in English T_T... So I'm sorry if I made mistakes...
In the prunonciation, I have my usual French accent, so it's not excellent...

It deals with a nightmare I had 2 weeks ago, concerning the girl I loved and I had to leave. This nightmare chocked me, so I decided to include it to my rap...

Lyrics :

That was a dream
I had before leaving
My homeworld, the wind
Around my room was screaming.

In the beginning
I saw your eyes between
Two fanatic toweers
I'll never forget this scene

A simple tear
Of weakness and hanger
Unsuccesfully
I tried to reach your finger

A simple tear I saw,
Falling to the floor
That's wath I feared
I felt your heart stopped

As your body was
Collapsing, I staid
Standing like a fool,
the words wouldn't be said

A last kiss,
Dying like a blackbird
And all my reality
Was forever shattered

Earthquake in my brain
The floor broke down
The blood on the walls
Started consuming stones

Darkness around me
Turned into a prison
Now you had diseppeared
I would be alone

-----------Chorus--------
------
You died in my dreams, I didn't hear your screams
The way you looked at me made me feel so GUILTY
You died in my dreams, I didn't hear your screams
But I tried to find answers in Underground
-------------------------
------

This is a world
Where each of your fauls
Has been recorded
Like a thunderbolt

Hell doesn't exist
Our madness creates it
The prison I made,
My conscience couldn't seal it

As the moon rises
The guards ring the bells
And then they open the doors
We must leave our cells

Punishment by pain
The fear consumed me
As I saw their dogs
Slashing out my memories

This is a world
Where friends don't resist
Confidence is ridiculous
And love doesn't exist

The only ones I trusted
Wouldn't stop to help me
We are all couard
Each survivor could be an enemy

As I tried to escape
And avoid all the traps
I understood
I had to get through the gap

I had to escape
From the hell I was hiding
I had to understand
Why I saw you dying...

-----------Chorus--------
------
-------------------------
------

I did manage
To escape from this Island
Swimming to the beach
I fainted on the sand

When I woke up
I don't know the reason
But I had come back
In this fucking prison !!

Stop ! No more game
I don't play anymore !!
Stop ! No more shame
I WAS OUT OF THERE BEFORE !!!

STOP ! I'VE ALREADY LOST
ALL THE ONES DEAR TO MY HEART
AND NOW MY SANITY
'S BEEN BROKEN INTO FIFTY PARTS !!!

I hit the door
I run out of my cell
I HIT-HIT the floor
I want to leave this hell

Outside of the prison
I don't beleive it's real :
I can see your face
Just on the top of the hill

I finally understand
The tear of weakness and hanger
I jump over the cliff
Trying to reach your fingers

I fell to the stones
The pain awoke me up
Tears on my face...
And my heart broken up...

-------------------------
-------------------------
-----
I hope you liked it ! Please, comment and criticize...

Reviews


NinjaElfBerserkFaceNinjaElfBerserkFace

Rated 4.5 / 5 stars

Good!

i can understand where you're coming from. Great English for a Frenchman such as yourself! I've spoken to many, and by comparison, you're pretty good.

a couple of suggestions: you said :
"But I tried to find answers in Underground" in the chorus, when it would probably be better to say "but i tried to find the answers underground." also, this line seems like a bit of a non-sequitur along side the rest of the chorus (and then it wouldn't rhyme.) find - underground, (i believe you said 'found' in the song the first time to make it rhyme, but it made it grammatically incorrect, if you don't mind me saying. I'd recommend re-wording the last line of the chorus.

aside from that, there's not much else except a few grammar errors,
i'd fix
'Stop ! No more game
I don't play anymore !!
Stop ! No more shame
I WAS OUT OF THERE BEFORE !!!'

'game' should be 'games'
and 'I don't play anymore' should be 'I wont play anymore.' (or 'i don't want to play anymore,' but that's kind of long.
'Stop ! No more shame' is fine
and 'I WAS OUT OF THERE BEFORE !!!' doesn't make sense, you should re-word it a bit, but keep before for the sake of rhyming.

Overall, great imagery!
I like it!


One-Winged-Raven responds:

Oh, glad you liked it :D ! I'm trying to improve my accent :p
- For the Chorus : yes, in the beginning, I wrote "tried to found", and then, I realized it wasn't correct... I replaced it, but in the first chorus, I forgot and said "found"... I'm going to re-record it ^^" The same for "(In) underground"
- For "no more gameS", I said the "S" but forgot in the lyrics ^^
- "I was out of there before"... Argh, it's nonsense ? I don't want to record again all the verses T_T it's been a pain in ass...
Well, thanks, I'll send you a Private Message when I've finished it !