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Your Wall (WIP)

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Author Comments

Another work in progress...

As requested here are the lyrics (note: As with all my other WIP songs the lyrics are somewhat ad-libbed, with no real thought behind them (sometimes they don't make a word of sense heh). I like to wait a while and take my time when writing the final lyrics for a song)

Verses 1:
Don't know what the future is
Don't wanna see
Don't want you drifting cos your drifting from me.

Don't know what the future is
Don't wanna see
Don't want these visions of you drifting from me /

Pre-Chorus:
Get on the Long Road
Get on the Long Road

Chorus:
Don't insult your intelligence with these preachers up on your wall
Don't insult your intelligence with these preachers up on your wall
Don't insult your intelligence with these preachers up on your wall
your wall, your wall, your wall

Verses 2:
Don't know what the future is
Don't wanna see
Don't want you drifting cos your drifting from me

Don't know what the future is
Don't wanna see
Don't want these visions of you drifting from me

Pre-Chorus:
Get on the Long Road
Get on the Long Road

Chorus:
Don't insult your intelligence with these preachers up on your wall
Don't insult your intelligence with these preachers up on your wall
Don't insult your intelligence with these preachers up on your wall
your wall, your wall, your wall

Pre-Chorus:
Get on the Long Road
Get on the Long Road

Chorus:
Don't insult your intelligence with these preachers up on your wall.
(repeat to fade)

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Nice piece

To be honest, I'll start with a complaint. Don't write the lyrics like that, it's lazy. Write them out in full, so that we can read them along with the song. So the style of the vocalist is difficult to follow. In that case, make the lyrics easier to follow on the page.

Right, there's a good guitar and drum blend here, with decent, if difficult to understand lyrics. I think that you could take this further, but it would be some sort of guitar solo, that deserves to break up the song and allow people to get accustomed to something else, before the vocals come in. You've got similar with a bridge, but not a full blown solo, just yet.

I think that there is certainly promise for the piece. I'm not sure about the high pitched effect that you have got over the track, but each to their own, I suppose.

[Review Request Club]

StickyRemnant responds:

Ok, no problem, I'll write the lyrics like that from now on.

A guitar solo is planned for that bridge you mention. I save the main solo work for the other guitar player.

The effect you mention is a female choir. It's not exactly what I want but it's close.

Thanks again

Uplifting tune!

Hello,

The overall sound remind me of the Servants "How to destroy a relationship cd"
I liked the lyrics despite finding them a little generic.

The music itself was really well done, I liked how much energy it carried, another nice thing is the song didn't overstay it's welcome.

Lastly unlike most of the stuff on newgrounds you actually have a voice that sounds like it fits the tone of the music you singing.

Aside from the lack of dynamic sounds, I don't have any beefs other than it didn't feel perfect to me.

Thanks,
- Celx
~Review Request Club~

StickyRemnant responds:

Hi
I haven't heard of the Servants before, I'll have to check them out.
As for the lyrics, Writing lyrics bores me tbh (and Im not very good at it). I've recently got in a lyricist of sorts so hopefully they'll be better in the future.
I'll probably cut the length of the track by about 20 seconds but yea, I made an effort not to have it drag on.
I'm not completely sure what you mean by "dynamic sounds" I'm guessing you're commenting on the loudness of everything and the fact that the loudness is pretty much constant throughout but i may be wrong.

Cheers for the review!

Pretty awesome

This is an amazing piece is what it sounds like, your band sounds pretty cool, liking it.

Vocals/Lyrics: They just seem to speak to you like an 80's band trying to help people cope with what will happen to them in the future, beautiful message.

Guitar: Splendid and beautiful riff, do you perform live or something?

Bass: Kind of have to tone out the other sounds with your ears to hear this glorious bass riff, nice job there.

Drums: Extremely heavy hi hat hitting, nice.

Overall: Pretty damn cool piece, nice work.

Review Request Club

SCTE3

StickyRemnant responds:

I'm glad you're liking my stuff mate.
Hopefully you'll like the finished lyrics - I'm pretty bad at wirting lyrics in all honesty, feels like a chore to me.

As for performing live, I used to be in a band when I was 17 - 22. Our singer went to live abroad and we went through more drummers than you can imagine so it kind of fell apart. Since then I've just been playing the acoustic for enjoyment - I've managed to write about 30+ songs in that time tho. Once I've sorted a full band out I hope to start performing live.

People keep telling me that they can hardly hear the bass in my tunes - it sounds really loud for me... but then again I only use headphones (which are pretty bassy) I'll have to invest in some proper monitors soon so I cna master based on a more neutral sound.

Thanks for the continued reviews man. I appreciate it.

Good song, but too loud

Again a pretty nice song. I again like the vocals, they are pretty good. The rhythm here is nice as well and I was tapping my foot along to it on the very first time I listened to it.

The problem here is that everything sounds very loud, almost as if the instruments are overamplified, so you should try to get things sorted out when you record the final song.

{ Review Request Club }

StickyRemnant responds:

I'm glad you like it :)
With regards to the loudness, yea, I think I may have overdone the compression abit. It helps give the song its energy but it probably borders on "listener fatigue" . I plan on tweaking this once I've written the lyrics.

Thanks

Credits & Info

Artist

Listens
1,736
Downloads
64
Score
Waiting for 1 more vote

Uploaded
Dec 8, 2009
2:13 PM EST
Genre
Indie
File Info
Song
7.5 MB
4 min 12 sec

Licensing Terms

Please contact me if you would like to use this in a project. We can discuss the details.