Nice piece
To be honest, I'll start with a complaint. Don't write the lyrics like that, it's lazy. Write them out in full, so that we can read them along with the song. So the style of the vocalist is difficult to follow. In that case, make the lyrics easier to follow on the page.
Right, there's a good guitar and drum blend here, with decent, if difficult to understand lyrics. I think that you could take this further, but it would be some sort of guitar solo, that deserves to break up the song and allow people to get accustomed to something else, before the vocals come in. You've got similar with a bridge, but not a full blown solo, just yet.
I think that there is certainly promise for the piece. I'm not sure about the high pitched effect that you have got over the track, but each to their own, I suppose.
[Review Request Club]