My mother said that I never should play with the naughty, rude girls in the wood.
There giggling talk I could never understand & that's why I fell in love with my right hand...
... & that's why...
I'm a wanker, I'm a wanker & it does me good like it bloody well should!
I'm a wanker, I'm a wanker & I'm always pulling my hood.
I was 24 years old before I was kissed & then I found that I preferred a swift one off the wrist.
It's cheap & convenient, you can't catch ST's. It's available at any time & it's absolutely free...
... & that's why...
I'm a wanker, I'm a wanker & it does me good like it bloody well should!
I'm a wanker, I'm a wanker & I'm always pulling my hood.
Oh misses palm & your five lovely daughters; thank you for having me & being oh so kind.
I've got pains in my arms & my donkeys getting shorter, my knees have turned to water & I think I'm going blind.
I'm a wanker, I'm a wanker & it does me good like it bloody well should!
I'm a wanker, I'm a wanker & I'm always pulling my hood.
I've wanked over Itally, I've wanked over Spain.
I've wanked on an omnibus; I've even had a wank in a train!
I've used a badger & a melon & a cat, an inflatable EyeLovePoozy from the Newgrounds.com store...
... & that's why...
I'm a wanker, I'm a wanker & it does me good like it bloody well should!
I'm a wanker, I'm a wanker & I'm always pulling my hood.
Oh misses palm & your five lovely daughters; thank you for having me & being oh so kind.
I've got pains in my arms & my donkeys getting shorter, my knees have turned to water & I think I'm going blind.
I'm a wanker, I'm a wanker & it does me good like it bloody well should!
I'm a wanker, I'm a wanker & I'm always pulling my hood.
Oh misses palm & your five lovely daughters; thank you for having me & being oh so kind.
I've got pains in my arms & my donkeys getting shorter, my knees have turned to water & I think I'm going blind.
The Wurzels - I'm a Wanker
