I'm sorry but...
You may have put a lot of effort into this, or not. But regardless, the major problems of this song are wrong notes. The clashing of off tune notes is a little too much to bear. I'm not going to be overly harsh and I won't zero bomb your song. One way that you could improve this song is if you correct mainly the bass as it is very important to the song if not, all songs. I'm sorry if I have offended you. =[