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Very very late probably too late entry to NG Pirate Day contest, but meh, why not?

Sound effects from Soundsnap.com.

~~Script~~

WOODCOCK
Yarr...what can I say about me Captain Bloodnuts, huh?

POLLY
RAAAAWK! HE'S A DOUCHE!

BLOODNUTS
YAARR!! A GOLD DEBLUM far whoever spots tha White Whale...

NAVIGATOR
I SEE IT! WHITE WHALE HOOOOOOE!

BLOODNUTS
WHAT DID YOU SAY ABOUT ME MOTHER?!!!

WOODCOCK
He always be barkin orders, threatenin' ta tear our our spleens, rip out our eye sockets...THANKFULLY he be blind...soooo we just pretend ta be workin.

BLOODNUTS
YAAAAR...CAN'T FOLLOW YAR CAPTAINS ORDERS EH?! THEN TAH THA PLANK WITH YEE, YA SCURVY PUKE! HORSE COCK! LEAD YAR CAPTAIN TO THE PLANK MATEY!

WOODCOCK
That's...WOODCOCK.......C aptain....

POLLY
RAAAAAAAAWK!! SHE BE ON YAR LEFT CAPTAIN!!

WOODCOCK
Yaaar? Errr Captain, that's not the-

BLOODNUTS
YAAAR....WHERE THAT MANGY PLANK WOOD WALKIN THINGY....

[[INADVERTENTLY WALKS OFF PLANK]]

BLOODNUTS
BEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeee......

[[SPLASH]]

POLLY
RAAAAAAAAWK! SEE YOU IN HELL.

~~Fin~~

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Hope you enjoy.