Too fragmented
I think that this 'song' needs a lot of work, as it sounds like there are 4 component parts that do not mesh together very well, if at all. This is where the mastering stage comes in, even for a thrash metal / death metal track like this, you need to put some effort into getting the pieces to work together and compliment each other.
The indiscriminate yelling into the mic is something that I won't be able to get you to change, but perhaps a few little tweaks of the lyrics themselves would help - there is no need to swear, as the emphasis is already there from the fact that you're yelling at the top of your lungs like some rabid dog.
Getting the guitar solo and the bass solo to play together would help - they sound like they are fighting and it's not the way to go. Get these parts working together and most of the battle is won.
[Review Request Club]