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This here is my submission for June's VA contest. Any comments would be welcomed and appreciated. If you liked the backround music check out nietzlawe here on Newgrounds. (he makes some good stuff)
__REVIEW FROM CONTEST__
FINAL SCORE - 71 *averaged from all judges*
The mixing wasn't very good. Tons of static, hard to understand, your p's and s's were far too loud, and the quality was not very good either. We are not sure if you used a radio amplifier or not for this, so we gave you a 0 for the mixing category in replace of disqualifying you for the use of an amplifier. Consider yourself lucky on that part. As for the story, it didnt seem to original. The classic story built upon narration has been done countless times in the past. The voices were pretty good though. You have a good, strong voice that could be used as a narrator, yet you also are capable of changing it to sound squeaky or mental. That is hard to do and I give you points for that. If you want to start voice acting, which you should because of your voice *well what else lol* you should buy a podcasting microphone. There are many available for relatively cheap prices. Just ask your nearest music store. Good luck! -63
Thanks for entering the contest! Read below to see what the other judges said.
Acting - 19
Fit - 15
Originality - 6
Range - 13
Mixing - 9
I like your narrating voice, the problem is that Errol sounds exactly like the narrator, the only difference being that Errol has some emotion when he speaks. I liked the squirrel voice BUT there was "WAAAAYY" too much narrator in this story and not enough of the other characters. This one has a problem found in other submissions, where there is too much telling and not enough showing. This is not to say that the story wasn't any good, it wasn't exceptional but it was alright though I don't really know Errol. Okay, he speaks like a mentally handicapped individual but that's it... For a submission named after the supposed main character, he doesn't do/say much. This one should have been called "Errol and the Squirrel: As told by the Narrator."
Acting 30 / 35
Fit 25 / 25
Originality 15 / 15
Range 15 / 15
Mixing 10 / 10
COMMENTS: Sounded to close to the mic. The S sounds pronounced made a grading sound. Might want to invest in a better mic.
Errol and the squirrel By: themanthelegend
Acting - 22/35
Fit - 16/25
Originality - 8/15
A wonderfully told tale! I really enjoyed listening to the dialogue... wonderfully written, but it seemed like you missedf out a lot of oppertunities to capture some real good gags! Which I think you needed to compensate for the lack of direction;D
Thanks to all for judging and writing detailed reviews. As I feared, my mic quality cost me on this one. Oh well, there's always next time. I think I'll take your advice on the podcast mic, fatkid.
great deep voice...
hehe..good job though.
Thanks, I'm in prime position to get hired by Verizon after James Earl Jones dies (I'm hoping he's immortal, but chances are he's not.... at least not in the literal sense anyway.)
What a cute little story, themanthelegend------>
Not only have you put a lovable short story in my head
but you turned me onto a new musician as well!
Thanx! I thought the narration was pretty distinctly spoken.
Especially when he let us in on Errol's thoughts.
That was goofy. You're a silly guy. Keep it up!
Best wishes on your submission, themanthelegend!
...............Take care, be good and listen to your local squirrels.period
Wow... you really know how to make a fella feel good huh?
Haha I got to admit I got a good laugh from it. Original story and the narration was good My only complaint is the background music. Try a better choice of music next time. Overall, you did good. Keep it up!
I will keep it up. Like Lionel Ritchie, I'm all night long up in this MF. Thanks for the kind review bro!
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