i was painting a chocolate color landscape
when i felt my breakfast trying to escape
disconcerting rumble in my guts
race to the bathroom, man versus his butt
but when i got there i couldn't make do(shit)
strain and struggle but couldn't make poo(how ironic i would say that)
The shit was too big(it's chaffing my hole)
it was too big for my asshole
though i try and i try(colon blocking my goals)
i just couldn't brown the toilet bowl
seconds became minutes, minutes became pain
my porcelain throne became my porcelain cage
my own flatulence was suffocating me
i had to be free from my feces
so i grabbed a fork from the kitchen(so shiny)
and jammed it into my stink end(ouch)
the shit was too big(and its chaffing my hole)
it was too big for my asshole
and though i try and i try(colon blocking my goals)
i just couldn't brown the toilet bowl
up to the handle, it couldn't get worse
desperate to be free from this toilet bowl curse
slip of intestine and a slide of the turd
reluctant father of a bowel movement birth
i think i love him
i think i'll raise him
i think i'll name him
my shit kevin
