Good try.

Basically, your bass was too strong at the beginning. It just over powered the background vox. This song remind me of the one song that goes like 'We like the poody tat" or whatever. Hopefully, you know know what I'm talking about.
It didn't really keep my attention, though. It sounded pretty neat, but it wasn't anything major. Like... It was just an intro to me. Not really sure... Perhaps you should make it longer and put better melodies in.
It was just super plain, man. Like... I dunno. I liked the beat, though. It was pretty fuckin' dope.
Hit me back, if you want.