Score: 10
"I think about things like this..."
date: August 27, 2008
Every so often, I take the time to sit back and reflect on who I have become, and there is alot that I am both proud of and ashamed of, and what I strive for. When I was younger, I used to idolize my Biological father, the kind of love a son would naturally have towards his father, but now, I am ashamed to even look like the man. (Spittin' Image, apparently). I guess that when you learn that your father has been lying to you for most of your life, you begin to see who he really is.
I was always the angry child in my younger years, I was very short (5'10 now), the quiet kid, the one who had no friends and was the constant target of those who were taller than me. Now, I actually have friends, and I am more than capable of holding my own in a fight. I have progressed to the point where I fear very little, and to the point where I still hold a personal vendetta against a kid who made my life a living HELL.
This also causes me to think about my choice of joining the Army, knowing that the job I plan to take could very well end with my death, but I also know that it will bring me to my goal of restoring my Family honor, in life or death.
My main goal in life is to hear my Step-Father (Who I consider my Father) say that he is proud of me, and what I have become. Never, in all of my childhood, upto this exact moment, have I EVER heard him say that. In all those 15 years...never.
I know I'm ranting, but this song effects me in such a powerful way, that I needed to tell you. I hope you understand.