Score: 10
"Phenominal."
date: June 23, 2008
Your piece told me a story.
I caught a glimpse into the life of a young couple. They each love one another dearly and live together in a large metropolis somewhere. On this particular night however, it's raining steadily and they're both in their apartment having an argument over the sudden financial problems they're faced with. The girl is in a panic, and the boy is giving his best effort in trying to put her mind at ease, reassuring her that everything will work out. Additionally, in the back of his mind he feels the time is nearing to ask her the question.. the one which ties the knot between them.
The girl doesn't want to hear his attempts at comforting her anymore, and she asks him to be alone. The boy stands in awe of her request, his heart sinks at her words, and he turns to get his coat which he puts on as he exits the door. The girl curls up on the couch and puts her hand to her mouth, closing her eyes as they begin to water.
The boy exits the apartment building where they live and begins his solemn walk in the rain, the coat he wears barely offering any kind of relief from the weather. He doesn't look upward as his clothes begin to soak and weigh him down, he stares downward, sorting out the thoughts in his mind. He can understand her worry, and he understands she needs the time to herself. His heart is revitalized when he thinks of her in a wedding dress, and he smiles as he paces forward.
In the apartment, the girl wipes her eye and bites her lip when she replays her response to his actions in her mind. She feels terrible and comes to the epiphany that he followed her wish out of what he feels for her, love. She replays different occurrences from their time together, where the normal man would discard the relationship for another. She then remembers how the boy would react.. he would return. She quickly runs to the window to look out upon the city, then down below at the sidewalk to witness her love coming back to her, and she smiles.
The boy stops in his tracks when he feels a sudden warmth. He looks upward at the building, and sees the silhouette of the girl he loves. He know the time is right to ask.
10/10, 5/5, and downloaded. Thank you.
