What's good fam?
Gave a 8. For your age, and especially from the reviews, I'd say this is a good track. Not particularly right for the beat you spit on, but like you said, you had to get it out. I do, however, agree with the last comment below me. Work on wordplay. I don't agree that the words weren't very moving. They had more meaning that people want to think.
Not many people discuss the struggle. I'd say start out working on 16 bar verses, 4 bar (repeat, or 8 straight) choruses. 3 verses to a song. You master that, then work on the wordplay. These lyrics are simple, but they convey a message. I'd say just polish the simplicity out of it, use more similies and medaphores. "Like" and "as if" work very well when describing next to anything.
Oh, and a Thesaurus. Writer's best friend so you don't repeat words in every song.
I liked it, especially the chorus. I wouldn't change that at all fam.
Stay up.
![[R.22].Running Thirsty.](https://img.ngfiles.com/defaults/icon-audio.png?f1707337412){kind=icon}
RoobyKillAll 
