you dont understand,

when i was born i came out of my mothers womb

that was when i realized it

that everything on this planet is a cheap lie

talk is cheap and thats where the expression comes from

back in 1844 on my 11th birthday on the lunar Gregorian calendar (not the Jewish calendar then it would be year 4988) i was extremely disappointed with the affairs of the world.

my parents were both cowboy individualists but secretly they were unfortunately trans cis extra terrestrial cowboy dualists. This became a problem because everyone is the town (which was las angeles at the time) became suspicious of my parents and they had to keep their identities a secret otherwise theyd be ostracized and called faggots

thats when we had my birthday. i was heart broken because i was turning 10 but there were only 11 candles on the cake. i yelled and screamed and called my parents fag 1 and fag 2 (which was a reference to dr seuess which wouldn't be invented until 150 years later so they didnt laugh or even get the reference and they actually ended up grounding me on my own birthday can u believe that?)

i spit on them and stormed off and slammed my door shut hoping they would knock on the door and apologize or at least tell me they loved me more than they loved themselves. they didn't do either of those

i put myself up for adoption because i was so angry at my own parents and became the heir and new son to other wealthier parents who kept me alive in cryonized detorium astro salt, (which acts as a mild anesthetic but also freezes your cells in time essentially) thats when i found out that basketball was only on 2 days a week and honestly i was crushed.