Author's Comments
When I was a kid, I was swimming in some huge indoor public pool somewhere near Colorado Springs...a recreation center of sorts, I guess. I was slowly wading out of the shallow end, closer to the deeper end, kinda tip-toeing under the water to to keep my head above it. I went a little too far and started panicking because I couldn't swim, and in my panic I swallowed some water and the shit hit the fan. I was scared to death, choking on water and thrashing around really hard to try and save myself (mindless thrashing doesn't work BTW). Outta the corner of my eye, I catch a blurry shot of the lifeguard diving into the pool, then she shot over like a lazer and dragged my worthless body outta the water like some pathetic, limpdick ragdoll. I was really out of it, and I had to puke up a ton of water - then walk the perimeter of the pool all the way back to the changing room. Everyone in and around the pool was staring at me the entire way there.
I recall feeling mega embarrassed during that long-ass walk, with everyone sitting in silence and eyeballing me. It's strange though...for all these years, I've always chalked that situation up as embarrassing - but never once appreciated the fact that some lady pretty much saved my life. Yeah, it's safe to say that I woulda been in some serious shit if she wasn't there. And I didn't even say thanks.
You bet your ass I know how to swim now, though. True story!
^ Oh, I drew this for some japanese vending machine thing we started here on NG. ^
The People Have Spoken
Average Score: 9.8 / 10
that some creatve shit girl
i did get the point of this
ppl think twice and yall know what it is
I work for the police in finland, it was a cold break in hamina, i was chasing a kid for shop lifting. Kid fell down to the river. The water was dark, cold and it feels like million knifes hitting ye, I saved the kid and i froze 2 toes away and got forever red skin... I almost died till my buddy jokinen pulled me out, my lungs were paralyzed!
I was in fucking coma for 3 weeks till i woke up... Now that tought me a lesson, never swim in water 48 celsius cold with gear that weights about 80 pounds wet!
Cool pic! Represents japanese commercials pretty well!
when you wont "I swallowed some water and the shit hit the fan" are you refering to the song my Eminem? Is that just a normal phrase for you? Oh and NICE discreption BTW
That's just fine.
lol nice
lmao it took me a second to get it lmao
but when i did i was like *facepalm* lmao
great work stamper lol
wouldn't surprise me of japan already came up with this product... typical japanese product indeed.
yeah this is definitely some shit they'd pull in japan. fuckin' weirdo's.
Would i feel anything if i reach anything down there? or is it just a plain whole?
awsome work your one of my favorite artists
I like your story, i know how it feels being so close to death and now that i think about it, its kinda funny.
this one is probably one of my favorites its hilarious and very welly drawn (i think) good work
once again enjoyed the description as much as the artwork.
I'd buy one.
nice...(im speachless)
Nice one. Im sure a lot of people would laugh and be able to tell wut that looks like if those machines were actually were scattered. Ah, it reminds me of the "used panty" vending machines japan or was it chine?...wutever but one of those places actually has a "used panty" vending machine. =0 crazy. Good idea u have for a vending machine that is featured in a hentai though. Hilarious job. Keep it up.
WITH A LEMON TWIST!!<3
I have to admit, if I came by that machine, I'd buy some... ^_^
I gotta get somma that
pussy doesnt smell bad nd nice pic
"Nice even if it seems to reinforce the stereotype"
That stereotype is that pussy smells like fish. You know
"It smells like fish, and tastes like chicken. Just plug your nose and keep on lickin"
Still this makes me wonder what kinda Soda this machine dispenses. Pussy juice with a hint of lemon or lime.
Author's Response:
I hadn't made that connection until you pointed it out. I just thought it'd be funny to put a huge twat on a fish's stomach, and I wanted the water wave and shit. All purely coincidental. Yea, real strange I never picked up on that until just now. Probably because I never agreed with that stereotype?
Cunts for sale? Lol. Sounds like what a Japanese vending machine would offer. Great job!
5/5
they have lemon and orange! thats awsome.
Okay, tears are flowing, too funny. Thanks!
On another note, I wonder if the pool that your talking about is the one by the Olympic Training Center, but then again, maybe not. *shrug* Good story. =)
that would be awesome hilarious if I see this vending machine
at a Walmart or any convenient place
lol this is fukin crazy in in a good way X)
you ppl round here are fukkin sick o.O
guess im not better cuz ill give ya 10 outer 10
love it
My family and I went to las vegas for a week to visit my Uncle. Their was a pool their, and nobody was their and I swam at the shallow end. My uncle came out, and called me and my brother and 3 cousins and said he had a secret, and pushed us all into the deep end of the pool. I thrashed around a shitload, and all of a sudden i thought to myself this isnt gonna work. I held my breath, closed my eyes, and slowly but surely swam in one direction, until i hit the side of the pool, and pulled myself up to take a breath.
very nice work
and for your information mralarmclockflower thats the vulva, or so it resembles.
i like how the drinks look like testicles with vaginas on them. sort of like a vagenis, but more like a vagesticle.
Very Great Art....But umm....You kinda scared me for life now....
After seeing this, I think I'll have nightmares everytime I see a vigina T.T
But seriously though, great work! :)
Please tell me this vending machine actually exists somewhere... Please?
interesting concept...
... fish
i really dont know what to say.....Bravo i guess... im still a little shocked lol
I can't believe that u could actually come up with this ( I would probably be kicked off of here for cruddy submitions) (TT ___ TT) GREAT JOB DUDE :]
i like vagina
i like fish
:<>
stay away from the evangelicals. They're crazier and more dangerous than OJ, Mike Tyson, and Charles Manson put together.
As to the 'artwork,' how do you select a flavor?
Author's Response:
You press the yellow citrus wedge button for lemon and the orange slice button for orange? AFTER YOU DEPOSIT SOM YENZ @_@ ching chang
The only thing that I don't get is what exactly comes out of this machine. Is it like citrus-flavored fleshlight miniatures?
Author's Response:
Yea, something like that. The Japanese are weird.
I'm always amazed when someone draws a fairly accurate picture of female genitalia, but you're spot-on!
Probably an odd compliment, but the vaginal introitus is stellar. That you did so well on everything and THEN also included detailed, accurate urethral mucosa is nothing short of amazing. =)
Excellent work!
PS: yeah this is odd reviewing a pussy-fish vending machine. ;)
Author's Response:
Girls gotta piss too! Well, that's the rumor at least...I think it was confirmed sometime last year.
In retrospect, the urethral opening woulda made a stellar coin return.
to think of that youd have to be trippin hard like stamper
I enjoy your reading material in the descriptions, very relative stories. And your artworks is always amazing.
Clittorfish!
Damn Stamper!
i am completely convinced that some japanese company would utilize this design in a heartbeat. IT IS PERFECT.
Author's Response:
Still waiting by the phone. :(
it seems like somehing u would find japan...lolz :D
only slightley, sort of thiing that catches u off guard...
And I thought this was hentai!
Was not expecting this!
