Indian Style

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Views
244,627
Score
4.48 / 5.00

Date
11/03/2009
Category
Illustration
File Info
1000 x 1130 px
JPG
678.8 kb
Tags
indian
squaw
warpaint
kevin-costner

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Author Comments

An older Redskin gentleman came to my school when I was just a little Stamp, and everyone had to assemble in the auditorium to listen to his long, painful presentation on Native Ameredskin history. If I remember right, his Navajo name was BORES KIDS HARD...seriously, think of the longest, most NEVER-ENDINGLY-BORING movie you've ever seen ("Australia" is a good candidate here), then triple the pain. Then double that, then add a side-order of WHO CARES with a sprinkle of YAWN, then garnish that with a sprig of SERIOUSLY, NOBODY GIVES A TINY PINK RAT DICK ABOUT INDIAN CULTURE.

Well...Indians do. Scratch that, SOME Indians do. Reboot, some Indians over 60 do.

But yeah, somebody thought it'd be a great idea to get this guy up on stage to spend the afternoon drilling Injun history and culture into our tiny brains, as if we were old enough to soak it all in, sip tea, and appreciate it. See, despite what some dumbshit adults think, kids aren't sparkly-eyed balls of wonderment who constantly desire to learn everything they can about other cultures and ways of life. Kids don't even care about their own culture, so why assume they'd care about anybody elses? I didn't care about culture or history then, OR now. Even nowadays I'm all like, PSH who the fuck is Abraham Lincoln? Bitch look Abe Lincoln can suck my dick and fall the fuck off my pennies for all I care, then I'd happily visit the tombstone of Christopher Columbus and totally shrug like "yeah whatever", and rub my wiener all over the Nina and Pinta and leave greasy Burger King trash all over Santa's Maria, then go peepee all up in a teepee cause THE SHIT BORES EVERYONE TO DEATH AND NOBODY CARES. ESPECIALLY KIDS.

Look, I liked tacos as a kid, but I didn't want a speech on Mexican history when the most any kid my age was concerned with was beating Batman on Nintendo and eating candy. That was just me though, right? I mean, sure - lets take this Pepsi generation of kids, enamored with comic books, action figures, and video games, then sit em' down in front of some dusty old guy to hear some WICKED XTREME stories about corn and bison, with a breathtaking encore about maize and buffalo. And of course, this was a modern-day Indian (wearing feathers, sure, but like, Levi's jeans, busted Reeboks and a digital watch), so obviously it's gonna be a straight up history lesson, and he couldn't have any cool Indian stories about, like, riding horseback alongside his warrior n***az in wicked scary facepaint, fighting other tribes with tomahawks and shit, scalping white men and...I dunno, you know, like, radical Indian shit like banging nasty hot Indian girls and lighting shit on fire. This dude fuckin lives in an apartment with a subscription to basic cable, Pizza Hut on speed dial 1, and Domino's on speed dial 2 (in case he's feeling adventurous). In other words, it was just...some guy...talking about Indians.

The only thing I clearly remember from that boreshit presentation is how hard he kept stressing the drum thing, and how popular media has had it wrong for years. Apparently, the one we're all familiar with is an insulting stereotype. Lemme explain. Any movie that revolves around Injuns (Dances with Wolves, for example) generally has a sequence (terrible movie BTW) where red savages (okay it was pretty good, shut up) are dancing around a fire beating on drums, generally like so: BUM-bumbumbum, BUM-bumbumbum - you know the one. So this guy (in his jeans) was constantly stressing (with watery eyes) how wrong and insulting it was to his people (in his Reeboks), and that TRUE Whitescalpers drummed like: BUM, BUM, BUM, BUM, BUM. He said the drumming was supposed to be the heartbeat of mother Earth. Granted, - I found that enlightening and added it to my bandolier of useless facts to fire out at the dinner table that me and my family never ate at, but it hardly helped this Red's case. Basically what I heard was, you know that cool drum pattern we're popular for? The one that almost makes a n***a wanna get down on a remix? YEAH, IT'S MORE BORING THAN THAT.

EXIT STAGE LEFT, T-HAWK.

Reviews


PacmanRebuildPacmanRebuild

Rated 5 / 5 stars Jun 12, 2013

O.O No Comment



BossBoss

Rated 5 / 5 stars May 27, 2013

This is a good drawing, stamper. pussy drawings are good. also stamper , how do you respond to allegations that eminem bit your style and flow on his track insane on relapse?



TotalolnessTotalolness

Rated 4 / 5 stars May 4, 2013

*places soap box on ground and step up on it*

A: Picture was great. Detail was good, lots of attention to shading, a very smoothed out style with a lot of skill put into it.

B: (Pro Indian: To disregard an entire culture and belief system as well as implying that you know all about how other feel on the subject based on your own feelings alone is ignorant and offensive. You talked about something that this old Indian guy probably took to heart above all else in a manner that called all his beliefs unimportant and irrelevant. Perhaps to you, they were, but to him, they mean as much as whichever god or religion you believe in. In fact, he probably cared much more strongly. It would be like me saying your art was boring and stupid because it was about porn. I could claim that all the time you spent creating artwork was wasted time that you should have been using to spend with friends, family, a girlfriend/boyfriend, and a job that actually paid decent money so you could put your kids through college. That's the equivalent of what you did here.

C: ("Anti" Indian: Time to face the facts. You were invaded by a sovereign nation and lost. These reservations? They exist because people felt bad about stealing your great grand daddy's land. Now few people care about you retaining all these extra rights and privileges other than the Indians that use them and a group of hipster activists looking to be called heroes for "standing up against oppression". I hear things like "the restaurant won't give us free lunches anymore" and it irritates the hell out of me. Get a job and buy lunch, or make a job if you can't find one. Find something that needs doing and offer to do that in exchange for money. Lawn work, gardening, farm hands, construction, log cutting, mining, hunting, or even just picking wild flowers and arranging them for overprices novelty wreathes. All these casinos? They're bullshit thief tactics that you can get away with because you can still somehow make others think you're the victims here. You're not victims anymore. Grow up and be Americans instead of self entitled hut dwellers trying to relive your broken past.

Thank you, that is all.

*Steps off soap box*



ForrestLakotaForrestLakota

Rated 5 / 5 stars May 1, 2013

This is fucking stupid, you are a disgrace to the human race. You're disgusting and ignorant. You can just hear it in every word. Fuck you. The Native American culture is rich and vibrant in many aspects. To just throw it away and say it is boring and sucks is ignorant and biased. You obviously are a horrible person. so stupid. You're a disgrace to everything. I happen to be a 15 year old Native American and i and many others are incredibly interested in our culture. Just fuck you kid. The only thing i like about you and this post is the picture and how you like the movie about my tribe. The movie is dances with wolves. Obviously you don't understand the concept of native americans. We know much about our ancestors and we live in the 21st century so obviously we are going to have houses, watches and etc. so ignorant that i made an account just to comment on this atrocity. I should just fucking track you down and scalp you mother fucker. But still good FUCKING job with the pic asshole. FUCK. Good fucking job



dansfiredansfire

Rated 5 / 5 stars Apr 10, 2013

This is probably my favourite picture in the entire newgrounds gallery, great work!