Indian Style

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Credits & Info

Views
246,933
Score
4.47 / 5.00

Date
11/03/2009
Category
Illustration
File Info
1000 x 1130 px
JPG
678.8 kb
Tags
indian
squaw
warpaint
kevin-costner

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Author Comments

An older Redskin gentleman came to my school when I was just a little Stamp, and everyone had to assemble in the auditorium to listen to his long, painful presentation on Native Ameredskin history. If I remember right, his Navajo name was BORES KIDS HARD...seriously, think of the longest, most NEVER-ENDINGLY-BORING movie you've ever seen ("Australia" is a good candidate here), then triple the pain. Then double that, then add a side-order of WHO CARES with a sprinkle of YAWN, then garnish that with a sprig of SERIOUSLY, NOBODY GIVES A TINY PINK RAT DICK ABOUT INDIAN CULTURE.

Well...Indians do. Scratch that, SOME Indians do. Reboot, some Indians over 60 do.

But yeah, somebody thought it'd be a great idea to get this guy up on stage to spend the afternoon drilling Injun history and culture into our tiny brains, as if we were old enough to soak it all in, sip tea, and appreciate it. See, despite what some dumbshit adults think, kids aren't sparkly-eyed balls of wonderment who constantly desire to learn everything they can about other cultures and ways of life. Kids don't even care about their own culture, so why assume they'd care about anybody elses? I didn't care about culture or history then, OR now. Even nowadays I'm all like, PSH who the fuck is Abraham Lincoln? Bitch look Abe Lincoln can suck my dick and fall the fuck off my pennies for all I care, then I'd happily visit the tombstone of Christopher Columbus and totally shrug like "yeah whatever", and rub my wiener all over the Nina and Pinta and leave greasy Burger King trash all over Santa's Maria, then go peepee all up in a teepee cause THE SHIT BORES EVERYONE TO DEATH AND NOBODY CARES. ESPECIALLY KIDS.

Look, I liked tacos as a kid, but I didn't want a speech on Mexican history when the most any kid my age was concerned with was beating Batman on Nintendo and eating candy. That was just me though, right? I mean, sure - lets take this Pepsi generation of kids, enamored with comic books, action figures, and video games, then sit em' down in front of some dusty old guy to hear some WICKED XTREME stories about corn and bison, with a breathtaking encore about maize and buffalo. And of course, this was a modern-day Indian (wearing feathers, sure, but like, Levi's jeans, busted Reeboks and a digital watch), so obviously it's gonna be a straight up history lesson, and he couldn't have any cool Indian stories about, like, riding horseback alongside his warrior n***az in wicked scary facepaint, fighting other tribes with tomahawks and shit, scalping white men and...I dunno, you know, like, radical Indian shit like banging nasty hot Indian girls and lighting shit on fire. This dude fuckin lives in an apartment with a subscription to basic cable, Pizza Hut on speed dial 1, and Domino's on speed dial 2 (in case he's feeling adventurous). In other words, it was just...some guy...talking about Indians.

The only thing I clearly remember from that boreshit presentation is how hard he kept stressing the drum thing, and how popular media has had it wrong for years. Apparently, the one we're all familiar with is an insulting stereotype. Lemme explain. Any movie that revolves around Injuns (Dances with Wolves, for example) generally has a sequence (terrible movie BTW) where red savages (okay it was pretty good, shut up) are dancing around a fire beating on drums, generally like so: BUM-bumbumbum, BUM-bumbumbum - you know the one. So this guy (in his jeans) was constantly stressing (with watery eyes) how wrong and insulting it was to his people (in his Reeboks), and that TRUE Whitescalpers drummed like: BUM, BUM, BUM, BUM, BUM. He said the drumming was supposed to be the heartbeat of mother Earth. Granted, - I found that enlightening and added it to my bandolier of useless facts to fire out at the dinner table that me and my family never ate at, but it hardly helped this Red's case. Basically what I heard was, you know that cool drum pattern we're popular for? The one that almost makes a n***a wanna get down on a remix? YEAH, IT'S MORE BORING THAN THAT.

EXIT STAGE LEFT, T-HAWK.

Reviews


Dark-ShardDark-Shard

Rated 5 / 5 stars

Ya see....

I have a theroy why she has those white hand marks on her breasts...
That old bastard who puts that shit on their warriors was doing his daily routine, stamping that shit on their chests and face and then he sees her walking back with her boobs hanging out. Despite how old he has, he loses it and has to give those bouncing breasts a good squeeze!



GreyScarboroughGreyScarborough

Rated 3.5 / 5 stars

Must admit

I've been deliberately neglecting my Navajo heritage. I mean, after hearing about my tribe pussying out of fighting for what they claim is still their land, then the resulting gene pool after my family bred into the various white races I... I dunno.

My uncle would always tell me to embrace our tribe's culture, learn the language, take their teachings to heart. Then again my uncle has been convicted for murder on several occasions, took hard drugs, ran with a gang, and this one time got drunk during his trip back to his home in Nevada, decided to climb onto the roof of his bus while on a 75MPH highway, and dance. Needless to say he's on many more drugs now, though these ones keep him from dying. Also, the resulting injuries left him dickless.

My family tree has shown me the lack of honor in my tribe, thus I do not embrace it. There is only one thing good about being native american in America. There are racial benefits for being like... 1/16th native american, and our women are pretty damn hot if they're well kept.

Oh well. I love this picture, it filled my totem with firm power.


People find this review helpful!

MixHellMixHell

Rated 5 / 5 stars

You're a reeeeally wise man

And with all your wisdom you became a flash artist... ATTABOY, great perspective of life. Srsly it's your kind of people that makes me lose faith on humanity... Individuals like you don't make any kind of difference in the society, in other words, you're just useless for the mankind. It's amazing how being an ignorant fuck is so overestimated for the people nowadays. Although your art is good, it leaves me no choice to give you a full 10/10 5/5.



AkroyarAkroyar

Rated 5 / 5 stars

tri-edge64

Dude fuck off, Canada has it worse with these lazy no gooders. I'm fucking sick of indians. Good picture as always Stamper!



Grub-Xer0Grub-Xer0

Rated 5 / 5 stars

Awesome picture.

Is it bad that I spent more time reading the authors comments more than looking at the picture?


People find this review helpful!