Author
Stamper
Date Submitted
07/07/2009 | 01:54AM EST
Category & Size
Illustration | 720 x 960 px
Tags
valentines | rape | tentacles
Current Score
4.37 / 5.00
1,103 votes | 68,812 views
Author's Comments
Not too long ago, I was at the grocery store buying food and shit. I ended up in the aisle with the soda and bottled water and stuff, and I notice this short-ass woman trying her best to reach the off-brand Diet Dr. Cola bullshit they have on the top shelf (it was on sale, I guess). This lady was struggling pretty hard, even started climbing on the shelves and shit when I just reached up and grabbed it, passed it to her and gave her a wink. She thanked me, and I proceeded to say "No problem, God blessed ME with height!"
What I said was unintentionally fucked up. "I'm tall, you aren't. I can reach products that you can't - I guess God fucked you on that one, huh?" I mean, it was supposed to be an innocent joke...you know how sometimes you start saying something that you slowly start to regret as you progress through the sentence, and about halfway through it gets a little too late to stop, so you have to finish what you were saying and sound like a complete jackass? Man, I'm far too familiar with the flavor of my foot. Or for you UK guys, the flavour of my foout.
Actually, I think it was the very same day that I was in the cereal aisle, comparing different boxes of breakfast cereals and trying to decide what to pick up. Some other, older lady was standing there when I settled on Raisin Bran - I guess I felt like making someone laugh, so I held up the box like a Raisin Bran spokesperson and said "MMMM! 2 scoops of raisins in every box!" then smacked my lips.
That was kinda awkward. She just kinda looked at me with squinty, dagger eyes and said some shit like "uh huh", then grabbed some flavorless oat cluster shit for old fucks and just walked away. It's like, hey lady - I just went out of my way to drop 2 scoops of humor into your life, the least you could do is maybe crack a smile or...ANYTHING. Don't cunt out on me and walk away like I'm some piece of shit who isn't worth your precious fucking time.
Dunno. Maybe she just had a bad morning. Maybe she had lady pains. Maybe her baby died inside her just the month before because she tried to procreate far too late in life.
Maybe some people are just cunts.
The People Have Spoken
Average Score: 9.3 / 10
the story was more entertaining than the art, and i loved the art and it made it better so WIN!
Her face looks like a man face xD
Great story and I agree any humor is better than no humor. The drawing isn't bad either.
You were baffled by my submission, and then i stumble across this masterpeice lol
so thats wat the tenticle monster looks like...lol
And, man, i read your story. I laughed so hard XDD
Yeah. Maybe some people are just cunts.. in fact.
Well you may have not dropped 2 scopps of humor into her life but you defintly dropped 2 scoops into my life! Thanks stamper!
Aww. That's sweet.
You sir win a 10 because, the story I just read 10 seconds ago above this post, and because I somewhat like the art.
End.
I like this....funny
female voodoo magic
thats one damn good picture...
foout? not all british are from newcastle...
That is one impressive drawing.
Stamper you should have like 5/5 or 10/10
wowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww this a delicius woman
sexy drawing style
and i seriously fucking cracked up at that card. and at your life.
I LOVE YOU STAMPER <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3v
I simply love this artwork. While the subject matter is still "tentacle rape" I found the way you portrayed it to be amusing. The best part of this is the texture and color. I really like the monochromatic theme of pink you went with. The line weight, shading, and proportions are well developed. I was going to say the class "needs a background" but then I looked closer and saw the transparent letters, you are really sneaky... Like I said, I really love this artwork, top mark, added to faves, and keep up the awesome work.
all i have to say is don't right shit like that your art is ok but your comments on the art are like the south I just hope your mum didn't mate with your brother like your mum
Looks like the tenticle monsters from the comics + "chibi"
Brings back good memories...o wait.
W t f!
:D impresionante! :D
great drawing and...
lol at that \/\/\/
But really, sum people are just cuntz. Or are some kuntz jusd peeple?
Yeah I know what you mean, I've had days like that. Its like hey I'm gonna risk a little something just for the hell out of it and try to get a positive reaction, but the reaction you get is like, "what a fucking weirdo." or the lameass silent treatmeant, yeah whatever to hell with them. if I was there, i would have laughed my ass off at that cereal joke.
hahahahah choclate coverd rape drugs thats a good idea every girl likes chocolate
pretty cool pic though not feeling the pig tails lol overal its really good. i love ur art and the little stories too.
ahhh stamper and his classic descriptios.. i'm actually paying more attention to the descip's more than the artworks :(
excellent art though. i would... and i gues i'd to the girl too..?
I specifically o to your shit just to read the long ass stories you write but goddamn you have a fucked sense o' humor
funnest ive seen so far
you are fucking crazy, I do love your work after all
I FUKIN LOVE U STAMPER ALL OF UR SHIT IS SOOOO FUNNY!!!XD
......wow..... u did fuck that up
The girl is hot and has a great body. But the rape and monster is kinda disturbing. The weirdness alone give it a good rating. But the rant about short people and cereal was hilarious. Good job on both.
I can't decide what's better, your picture or the little rant in your comment box. rofl
well i really dont
but once I do I'll definitely tell you
Ha it looks kinda like Dr. Girlfriend from the venture bros
nice vary detailed
Maybe that lady had no sense of humor, or she thought you were some boring scientist.Or, she didn't know it was a joke.Did you say it with that humor feeling in it?Like MMMMMM, every fucking box of these raisin brans has 2 fucking scoops of raisins in them!That was a joke!laugh before I slice your throat! o_o
LOL I LOVE IT!!! GREAT SENSE OF HUMOR BTW, though the story was random it serves a good purpose.
What does the story have to do with the picture? Even if it is an awesome story. So great story, great picture. Sense:??? Doesn't matter anyway I guess. Oh Well.
This happens when you reject a sexually deprived admiring alien and wear a school girl outfit.
Well drawn picture.
Hilarious fucking story.
Those stories made me giggle.
Clearly you have humor.
The picture is weird, and the girl has a man face.
The monster things reminds me of my friend. No further explanation is open to the public.
Author's Response:
Yeah, kinda does have a man face, huh?
you are writing this story for kicks but your art is good
the art is umm.... off color... but the story made me laugh my ass off
Not only was the "art" pretty funny but your story reminds me of...me, I do go out of my way just for someone to laugh in an awkward way but they never do...always a grow up sort of stare
Your art work is truly an amazing thing as well as with your stories in the descriptions :)
10/10
5/5
"No problem, God blessed ME with height!" That is AWESOME!
I like the way you think. 10 stars.
The picture is awesome. So messed up but has comical aspects too lol.
I give you a 10/10 because you not only put a lot of work into the art, but also the presentation/description.
Well done my friend, you should write novels from now on.
I loved the description, funny story. Stuff like that happens to me all the time. I always love your artwork and your animations are just superb, please keep up the good work Stamper!
stamper you have the most good design on your ever so sexy submitions. i like the use of date rape drugs here its funny cuz bad things happen at a funny time io get that. very nice work.
Girls with pink hair are always getting raped...
Kickass work as usual, what's up with her right knee though? Do Japanese schoolgirls just have an extra butt that i don't know about?
Author's Response:
I think I see what you mean...the leg is supposed to be cocked inwards and LOOK I'M A TERRIBLE ARTIST OKAY
...when people give you no feedback at small talk. Loss of humor is one of the signs of the armageddon, anyways. Now, tentacle-raping her for her ignorance might just be the solution you are looking for. I hope at least that didn't go awkard...
...but after you are done, you need not to forget the granny.
haw. lady pains. the former is false, and the latter is oh too real.
i've seen women do the shelf climbing thing before. i considered calling the manager before just leaving the aisle.
Author's Response:
Yea I totally agree on the socks, they really don't look like that. I was rushed near the end to get it posted, so i just dropped some folds and shaded it REAL poorly.
And yeah, women think they OWN THE SUPERMARKET. They got a rude wakeup call though - THEY DON'T.
You kno i honestly think the pic is a 3 but ur story is a 20 so i gave u a 5/5 10/10
good work
I found this hilarious 10/10
