The Dead Space 3 Trailer by Paxilon on Newgrounds

Author Comments

Isaac Clarke quoting this tragically misused line is like Isaac Clarke quoting the sounds he makes on the toilet after eating gone-over space tacos.

Compared to this travesty, I don't really care that Ellie somehow got her eye back (all the better to pout at Isaac, my dear). I don't care how low her stupid t-shirt gets (all the better to occupy Isaac's attention, my dear). And I don't care that this trailer tries to do absolutely nothing memorable with it's medium. Remember the Dead Space 2 trailer? Yeah, that was brilliant. I loved the trailer and I loved the game, mostly because Isaac's little passive-aggressive jokes were funny and not forced out of a horse's infected butthole.

I will not forget this. AND WHILE WE'RE ON THE SUBJECT.

I do not want to share the horror of being alone in a hostile environment, left to my wits and my few remaining rounds, with another player. I do not want to share that horror with a shittily-programmed NPC. I want to play the game as survival horror was meant to be played.

Screw you, Dead Space 3 trailer. The game you feebly try to represent may end up blowing my mind and my bladder, but you are no ambassador.