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I drew this last night, half asleep, not really thinking about what I was doing. When I was done I looked at it and realised that something was definitely bugging me.
I don't suffer from a disorder. I'm a generally calm person, it's a trait problem solvers share alike. There's only one thing that truly scares me, when people I know and love are doing things that I don't agree with. We're talking things that are moralistically wrong but have been justified in some way, so that they can accept what they're doing.
- Cardiac dysrhythmia: Tachycardia. Heart rate exceeds normal range (over 100 bpm without physically educing) and can develop and abnormal rhythmic pattern. (Which hurts, btw)
- Body Tremors. Involuntary oscillations of body parts (twitching). Mine are excessive, due to the stress on the body. I have a funny nervous system too, it twitches the muscles in my midsection (this happens randomly in live). Body tremors can last for hours.
I care about people, which is probably the hardest thing you'll ever do. It's rare someone perceives things the way I do, I usually confuse my friends, which is fine because if we all thought the same way the world would be a horrible place.
What I'm getting at is that not many people really understand how think, my own little set of 'don't be an arsehole' morals don't really compute to others. It's hard when you explain these morals, people make up loopholes so that they can go back to doing what they want. I accepted that people don't see things how I do a long time ago, but when you see someone you know and love heading in the wrong direction.. Do you really have the right to say? You can express your concern for sure, but loopholes are everyone's favourite social tool.
I sometimes feel I'm more emotionally complex than most of my age group. Not saying that I'm better than them. Just saying I can see how simple actions can have a very obvious domino effect without people thinking about it.
This is not a cry for help. Many people go through this, it's common. My anxiety is mild and occasional and for good reason. I have no chemical imbalances, and I assure you I'm healthy. I know people with real Anxiety problems, it' like their body is torturing them. My tachycardic heart goes out to them.
I'm just a problem solver with limited resources.