Maybe, maybe..

The thing that I like about this piece are his eyes. They're focused on something and I think at the position he's at, it's sort of complicated. It worked though, well. I like the value you did around his hairline. Something seems off around the mouth,though. I think if you tried pen and ink it might show you the difference between line and value. Faces are full of values. You have great structure, but having plain lines make it look more like a sketch.

Neat linework, great progress

The problem you have here is that the face is set too low. You've made the opposite mistake from most beginners- most people look at faces and then draw people as if their hairline is the top of the head, which results in weird stretched out faces. You've managed to set the face too low- if you're looking at a head dead on, the eyes should fall halfway up the head- in this case the eyebrows should fall roughly where the that cresting curl of hair is on his forehead.

That said, it's great to see the values you've added to this piece the second time around- it's hugely improved. It's also great to see you drawing hair so wonderfully- a number of your pieces draw the entire skull shape and then sort of put the hair in as if it's growing from behind the head, rather than on the head itself. I'm delighted to see that you figured out how to avoid that here.