I like the idea you have here, it's a good start for sure. The placement of the two characters sets the drawing up for a strong and interesting composition. However your coloring style, color choice and lighting really bring it down. To start you need to sharpen up your shading a lot, right now its very soft all around; and it looks like you use straight white to get lighter tints in there as opposed to using lighter tints of the color, this gives you a sort of plastic-y look in a lot of places, particularly the jacket. Right now the brown of the other room and the brown of his jacket are kind of making the drawing too brown, you should change the floor's color; from what I understand Hotline Miami has really bold colors, you should take advantage of that and really use some stronger, bolder and more vibrant colors, the floors could use it a lot. Look up the time period and place, I'm not an expert but 1980's Miami interior design were not really into brown and pale pink as colors, from my understanding the went more on the ivory and marble floor type things, shiny and lighter. Your highlights are too much, the huge white splotches on the floor and the walls should be gotten rid of entirely, they kind of look like clouds and attract too much attention, I understand that you're going for the muzzle flare's lighting and that's a good read, but the light on the walls would be much dimmer for one and be much more evenly distributed as opposed to super focused on those spots.
You should do some perspective studies around your house to get a feel for how walls and floors line up and how to better keep it consistent, right now you've done a decent job, but walls in a building are generally all comprised of right angles and the divide between the two rooms and the far wall aren't lined up as well as they could be.
Also that box looks like it is floating, doing some basic object still lives can really help with getting objects to line up with a base, I strongly recommend doing some. The 7,500 above the chicken guys head is a bit out of place in that black box, if you removed the black box and made it bigger I think it would stand out and fit much better.
I hope this helps in some capacity, keep up the good work!