What a loser lololololololol
Deep
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I’ve been told a lot in my life that I’m a deep person, by many different people. Funny enough, it took me my whole like to realize what a deep person is. I’ve learned that being deep is just a complicated thought process. It’s the many layers of memories that stack on top of each other like bricks, and having the emotional state to keep those bricks from crashing down. When they do crash, they crash hard…
They don’t stop, just continuous torment from my torturing self hitting me with realization. I don’t take life very well. I often cloak it, make it out to be beautifully gloomy. However, there is a side effect to that. Being the one to keep back all of the personal faults and regrets to myself, it’s often hard for me to express who I truly am to others.
I would like to be accepted, but it’s a case of the doubled edged sword for me. I feel like if I were to tell others about emotional wants I have deep down inside, I would be unaccepted, but in the counter action, not telling others who I really am also leaves me unaccepted. People would think I was society’s trash just waiting to be thrown out, or possibly ridicule me for being different. They might make fun of the way I look, the way I act, the sexual preferences I desire, or the open-mindedness that people sheltered away in ancient times…
One thing, however, is for certain… When I meet those who are there for me, who will help me through the most difficult, who will slash through the most uproarious of jungles with me, I will cherish those friendships forever. I would never take those people for granted, and I most certainly wouldn’t give up on them, as well. I would help them as they help me, and I think that at that very moment, I could finally have the courage to speak up for my own weird self intent. Those people would matter to me, not those who had ridiculed me and pushed me away. I love my friends, and I’ll be damned if anyone tries to change me for who I am…
GabrielLoganStudios responds:
I know, right?! What an idiot this guy is! You're so cool and funny! Wow, such amazing insight. Truly the Socrates of our time.
"Being deep."
Can it be described as merely complicated thought process, or even only deep thinking?
Maybe it can, but maybe it has another meaning to it. I mean, why do people even call you "deep"?Perhaps it's not about the thinking process, perhaps its more.Maybe it is how and why I admire you .You've took a fact and detached it, analysed it bit by bit. You shared what you found out, describing it so precisely, yet undeniably.You made me look back into what I've missed, my memories of the old days.
I know it might be hard to keep back what you suppressed for so long, but that is a feature of life. It's THE feature of life.After all, life is kind of like the concept of an RPG. You start off in your journey, unaware of what's in front,inexperienced and new of your surroundings, and as you slowly wonder, you'll get used to it, but it wouldn't be calm for long. Your first challenge will arrive,and it might be easy the first few times, but eventually the challenge will get harder, though do not worry, for as you gain experience, you'll grow stronger. You might fail one day, but that's the point.Life wants you to fall, and it will be watching you, seeing if you have the strength to proceed. You can choose to halt and loose everything you've once earnt, or you can stand up to it and give it your best.One day you might find yourself achieving your goal once and for all, and once you look back, you'll find it worth it, starting from your baby steps till today.
As for being accepted , it isn't that important. Now it might be true that we find it hard to blend in with people, but what's the point of it anyway? Stand out and be like a firefly,for one would see a single one as a complete waste of energy, but if many, they'll light up, and people would gasp at their works.I myself have this problem: no-one seems to accept my preferences (and neither my looks, as well), all but for a few friends. We share things in common, our interests, our constant urge to make stupid jokes, and the amount of times being picked on by other kids (which is a lot). It isn't necessary to fight back, we just support each other and ignore their words.Why care on such pointless things?
I don't know what you think, but I think you should stay who you are.After all, you are one of the few who inspired me, and perhaps changed my life, and I'm glad for who you are.And I'm sure that one day, you'll find someone that'll shine with you.
So I'll send you my best regards and, for now, I'll take a nap.
Good luck ^^
GabrielLoganStudios responds:
Tailsbuddy, I don't even know what to say... I'm so moved by that, I'm speechless. Thank you, thank you!... You're one of the only people that actually bothers to say anything like that to me anymore. I kind of get where you are coming from in very many ways, as a matter of fact. I used to get picked on a lot in school, and in a way I'm still struggling with the focuses I have in life. Do I want to be accepted for who I am? Yes, but I also like to consider other's preferences. You see, I may not have told a lot of people on my NG yet, but I'm bisexual. Do I care if people know? Of coarse not. However, what does hurt is people's judgment on the kind of stuff I'm into. Ok, maybe I should care a little less about what people think... I'm only human, however, and there's nothing in this big wide world that could ever change who I truly am. I love sitting around with my friends and making lame jokes just for fun, and man do I know some funny ass people. haha I'll try and get somewhere huge with my work, the way I would like it. Hell, I want to make animated movies in cinemas that are generally more open-minded to sexuality than you normally see nowadays. People call me deep because I am. I'm not going to lie, it's true. It just means that my thoughts work in layers rather than just the average response. I see a lot more meaning and results out of everything, which actually scares me most of the time. The fact that I am aware of my problems, but yet have no idea how to solve them, just makes me feel hopeless sometimes. After the passing of my mother this week, I've been thinking a lot... About her, about my family, and honestly, how I can make her proud. You are one of the most awesome people that looks at my work, and I want to give you a huge hug to show you I'm not kidding. The fact that I inspire you and that my work means something to your life just makes me the happiest person in the world, and I can't tell you how grateful I am for that. I'm sure you're not ugly, and I'm sure you're a pretty swell fella. haha I'm sorry, I'm not in my right mind while typing this... Anyway, thanks for the kind words and everything. I really appreciate every single word, and I wouldn't lie or put that any other way. I'm glad I got this comment, and it kind of made a horrible day better for me. You'll be in my thoughts.
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