I think this could be a great pic, given more polish. There is some great rosy-warm colours going on all around this picture; the change of colour in your shading/highlighting is also nice. I quite like the ripple effect in the bed sheets from the flowing brush strokes.
But, as I said, it needed more refinement. She has chubby fingers, which was the first thing I noticed since we can't see her face. She also doesn't seem to be holding the phone correctly; since we can't see the top half we're lead to believe that her hand is clenched tightly around bit you talk into, which looks wrong. The few places you did put linework didn't really need it since they're contrasted either by the colour of the bed or the shading of her body. BUT the telephone on the bed prob needs more definition.
